Mrs. Harshman, 5th Grade Trombone, & Therapy

In a recent conversation, the topic shifted to instruments and specifically what instruments do you play? 

I instantly had a panic attack regarding my grade school musical past.

In the 2nd grade my parents bought an organ. My mom thought it would be a nifty idea for all of us to learn how to play it so she found a flyer at the grocery store for an organ teacher. In walks Mrs. Harshman.

Mrs. Harshman was an odd duck. Even at 8yrs old I thought she was a piece of work. She was old and had this very precarious mole on her face that I felt was going to fall off any second and she had really long hair that she would constantly unravel and re-ravel into a bun.

Every Tuesday after school we took turns at the organ for 30 minutes while Mrs. Harshman and the metronome tapped out a beat. I was always the last to go (mostly because I hated it) and Mrs. Harshman's lesson seem to fade into her taking a nap on the chair next to me.

After a year my organ commitment was over and never had to play an instrument again.

Until 5th grade. 5th grade I was the official entry into "the band" and everyone seemed to play something even if it was only for a quarter.

I wanted to play the clarinet. My parents felt I wouldn't commit to it like my organ days (Jesus I was only 8). So instead of letting me have a clarinet they said I had to play the trombone.

Why the trombone? Because we had one in the garage and if I was gonna flake on another instrument they didn't want to shell out anymore cash. (Thanks for believing in me).

I 'played' the trombone for a year. I hated it too. Mostly I hated carrying that big ass trombone case on the bus every day. Or maybe I hated that it was too big for me. In order to reach 7th position I had to sit on a chair and anchor the placement with my foot because my 10yr old arm was too short to reach. Sad, really.

The best part about the trombone is that I wrote a story about it in college that won me first place in our literary magazine and a wad of cash to go with!

I guess to answer the question, I don't play any instruments today.